Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Catastrophe Mind!




There I am pushing the stroller across the street and I can vividly imagine the car hitting the stroller and carrying my infant daughter off to her death.  I see people falling off ladders and smashing into us, hot liquid being spilled, small objects being caught in little throats, strings strangling.  All around me are hazards that might hurt my little girls.  I have imagined catasrophes before they have even happened.  I was told that this is normal brain weirdness for mom's...a mechanism to protect one's children.  But...I'll tell you it is a slice of hell as I wince just imagining how incredibly horrible it would be if anything happened to my precious children.

Every morning I marvel as I look at my 2 children at how lucky I am to have them in my life.  From the delighted worble when my 8 month old sees me in the morning to the ritualistic handing out of bears to K and myself in the morning from our 3.5 years old.  The love I feel for these girls fills my heart to overflowings of wonder, joy, amazement and love.

When I hear about the losses of our Japanese friends...I cannot imagine how I might feel if I lost any member of my family.  I cannot begin the comprehend the horror of seeing one's child swept away by water...the last contact being the clasp of hands and the hope of survival.  Life as we know it could change in one instant yet we live as if this isn't so.