Wind back to earlier tonight. The kitchen is overflowing with dishes and I'm trying to get out the door to vote. We've eaten dinner and piled more dishes atop of the breakfast dishes. Ken puts Julia in the tub and starts cleaning the kitchen...the tub is a hope for respite as Julia is cranky...very cranky. She missed her nap today. All of a sudden there is a desperate cry from the tub and Julia is standing and 2 brown floaters are evident in the tub. I pick up my dear girl and put her on the toilet and give her a big hug. She just clings to me...terrified of her poo poo I think. I tell her, "it's okay...it's just an accident." (side note here is that Ken and I exchanged glances and I had to run out to vote leaving him to deal with the "brown trout").
I just don't give myself enough hugs. When I do something wrong, I'm so hard on myself. Not to be gross but I will be...Julia didn't mean to poop in the tub. Sometimes I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing. We all do! Other people are much more forgiving of our imperfections than we might think. I realized today that I am modeling for Julia that when she does something wrong, it's okay. Hopefully, when she is an adult she will be kind to herself. A therapist of mine once said...when we are stressed or upset...we all go home. Hopefully, she will go home to a hug. I guess I can't be a perfect parent either.
So, enough about poop. We've had a wonderful Halloween. Julia went on a parade with her school through Harvard Square on Friday. We visited with some friends on Saturday and Sunday and then Sunday night we went trick or treating with our neighbors downstairs. We are emerging from our baby haze...Haley is regulating herself and getting on a schedule. She is constantly smiling now. When I go to pick her up she lifts her head and tries to sit up to meet my arms. She looks positively merry. It is really amazing to me how everyone smiles when they see a baby. I think it makes people realize the wonder of life. It is a weird thing to think that this baby has only been alive for 3 months now. A truly miraculous phenomenon.